Prayer

The little one was feeling a little off tonight before going to bed..

San said "un kanne patturukkum.." (your eyes need to be warded off).

So she decided to do a little "drishti" thing. For non South Indians, this is a thing that parents teach you to ward off evil spirits and eyes by doing an "aarti" for the little kids. Think this helps the parents convince themselves that they have done something to cover the unknown more than it really helps the kids. (Persian friends tell me that they do something similar by burning incense and saying "insallah" three times).

Before she did this San told the kids "please pray to god to make sure you listen to parents, do well in school, not fall sick and be healthy, etc. " a

and the little one closes her eyes and goes "Ummachi, please make sure Daddy does not get any more big boo boos."

That was the sum total of her prayer. Now we have to do a Drishti for the Drishti. The little one knows how to get me all teary eyed.

Kids, what can we tell you?


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From one thread to another..

Ones commitment to learning may be directly measured by ones receding hairline and loss of hair density.

You live, you learn. You learn more, you live less?

There has been a lot of learning on the personal and professional front in the last year. At least that is the annual Avani-avittam report!

Granted the regular sandhyavandanam is restricted to twice a month, plus some days when I feel like it and it is done in the bathroom for the most part, but the avani-avittam thread changing is always done.

Reminds you of good things from the past, and somehow deep down tells you that as long as you keep the learning process alive, all will be well. This ceremony always brings about mixed feelings. It becomes a once a year atonement event, but one has to look past feeling bad for not doing rituals and prayers everyday and go with "work is worship" and "worship is just more worship"!

Vedic learning is not going to feed the kids and it is a given that the concepts have to be fit to context.

My only take on the "being a brahmin" part is somehow we were taught that "knowledge is power". It is very much possible that this is an over simplified myopic filtered view of the caste system scaling down to affect me as to who I am....and this is not the first time this is being said in this blog. At least that view has remained consistent over four plus years of blogging..

In my understanding of 7th grade history of India, we were taught that there were four classes of people who had different interpretations of power and their roles in the world. They were valued in society for their quest for

a. knowledge
b. power, control, territory
c. money and all things material
d. a daily paycheck

Roughly translated for today's urbanite, you would aspire to be CTO, CEO, CFO or a dude doing the actual execution of work... today you can beat the system and be anything you want to be, as long as you don't get stereotyped!

Considering my parents were not well to do and the only thing they pushed me to do was to get grades and their biggest achievement (prior to their getting me married to their top seed pick aka San) was performing our Upanayanam ceremony in a grand way, the choice was very clear. Study and you will get somewhere in life and be valued for something.

That has been sent into deep permanent memory somewhere. So this year the commitment to learning has been extended by another year.

As usual, some pictures..




The little one was slightly upset that there was no "bell ringing" involved in today's occasion, but was consoled once she saw the good eats.




It was just daddy doing prayers and everyone getting to eat vadai, paayasam and sweet poli.

The paayasam was very very yummy and this post ends on that note..and we go eat some more paayasam.



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Watch your feet

You are busy clicking away on your camera, worried that the approaching chariot might run over and your zoom may not be enough to save you and your mom lets out a yelp "watch out!"

You take your eye away from the viewfinder and look down to see a dude rolling on the floor, sorry, rolling on the road.




You missed stepping on him narrowly. The camera doesn't do as good a job of absorbing him as his body is absorbing the dirt on the road.

"Is he a beggar?" was the obvious question.

"Edhavadhu Vendudhalaa irukkum da!" comes the reply.

By that she meant "he must have prayed to some god that he will roll on the road during a temple festival, collect money and then go donate it to the god!"

The sucker for technicality in me immediately responds "His chances of getting money are better if he is at eye level with the people, no?" and mom just moves on. Her face seems to say "to each, his own" and I meekly follow her.

From that point on, started watching my feet after every shot.



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What is a blog without Pongal pictures?

Was so busy with the game that the Pongal photo post never made it through!

Last year we made pongal without the Prayer part, because my aunt passed away.

This year Pongal was a relatively subdued affair, considering it made it on a weekday. When I came home early to do the prayer, there was a pleasant greeting at the doorstep..




There was a prayer, which coincided with sunset instead of sunrise,




and some really yummy Pongal and Vadai!




Note to self : Next year, take the day off and celebrate.



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Things that define you

After reading through A bystanders post and Noon's response to my comment in her post,

I had an Epiphany!! (I do not know if the man who taught me that word actually reads this blog! If you do, thanks for introducing that word to me).

I will come straight to the point, although it is no fun...

Does the poonal define me or do I define it?

Or for that matter, is the little Thaayaththu (amulet) that has been on my body since I was 4 define me? (I used to have it around my neck on a black thread and once I got my Poonal, transferred it to the poonal).

Does the thin gold wedding band that I never removed from my finger since the day I got married define me or do I define it?

Does the "I love daddy" trinket, hanging from my rear view mirror define me as a daddy, or the shilouette of two dancers that hangs alongside, which my friend Weeshie Niehaus made for me one Christmas eve define me as a friend or a dancer for that matter?

I really do not know!

At the end of the day, we strive to be a good spouse, parent, child, friend, worker. Somehow in that list, I am not directly trying to be good at being a Hindu or Brahmin or devotee!

If the definition of a good spouse, parent or child involves getting in line with the belief and value system of the other person in that relationship, then you are indirectly striving to show your alignment to religion, culture, rituals and whatever else comes with it (eg. being vegetarian vs. eating meat, dressing in a certain way, visitng a place of worship, affiliation to a place of worship or group, wearing a poonal or mangal sutra, etc.)

When I see the little one prostrate herself and pray at the Shiva Vishnu Temple in Livermore, I wonder...

I did not even teach her to do that!
She just did it by following what I do..
She is happy doing it and expects me to approve when she copied me!

After some time, I thought to myself "Sundar, you are overanalyzing this thing. Sometimes Jr. does the exact opposite of what you do, just to be different or just to piss you off. This is the same girl, who used to copy you to show her conformance, just two years ago!"

All these things do not define the kid.

I reflect on something that happened during my wedding. The late Jambu Saastrigal, who performed our wedding, had nearly lost his eyesight at the time. He was just going by memory. On my insisting, he actually explained the reason and synopsis of every ritual that we performed during that wedding ceremony!

Here is a converstation that is still fresh in my mind. We were all gathered to start a prayer the day before the wedding. It was very early in the morning. As soon as we were ready to start, I took off my shirt, wore my dhoti and sat down.

Jambu Saastrigal (squinting) : Ambi, namaskaram pannu. Unakku dheergaayusu da! (little one, get blessings... You will live a long life!)
Then he went on to say (in translation) "these days the boys who come after studying abroad are so shy that they want to go through the entire wedding ceremony in their Kurtha's. They dont wan't to even remove their shirt!!. and here you are!! all ready in a jiffy.."

to this the second saastrigal in command, says:

"Narayanan payyanaa, kokkaa!" ,which I cannot translate real well. He basically said something to the effect that the apple does not fall far from the tree.. ie., my dad is known for being religious and a stickler for adherence to rituals and so it is no surprise that I am that way. At that point I wanted to puke my guts out, because I am not as religious or ritualistic as my father. I do it 10 times a year and on demand. My father does it 365 days a year. Big difference. However, I saw my dad's eyes light up with pride when he overheard this and I just let sleeping dogs lie..

When I was 3 or 4 years old, Iused to sit on my grandpa's lap every morning when he used to recite vedic verses, Valmiki Ramayana or pieces of Upanishads during his morning prayer. Some of those things have gone into my permanent memory and I can recite these if I have to. These days, I just thank my genes for my memory and leave it at that.

Like I have said in the past, to each his/her own! My personal take on this :

How we interpret the level of influence of social, cultural and religious practice in our life does not define us. How we learn to be at peace with what we do, irrespective of the reasons, is what defines us.

The end goal is to be comfortable with oneself! At least mine is!


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So much for Prayer

I do pooja's or prayers, a countable number of times every year. So the little ones always watch me with a lot of curiosity!

While doing Sandhyavandanam, (which has become a once in a while event these days), I stood up then looked down to find my water and spoon had suddenly disappeared. Knowing that both Jr. and the little one have been eyeing the copper vessel and spoon ever since I took them out yesterday, all I had to do was, follow the noise and sure enough.. there they were!




Needless to say they both threw huge tantrums when I took the water away from them. These days I cannot do anything without the little squirrels taking things away and doing their own thing!

The best part is Jr. and the little one imitating grandma's praying. That secret video has eluded me so far! Who knows, maybe I will capture that soon?


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